Dentimental

I have been reading Denty's posts over the last week.
I was reviewing my own postings.I realised what an oblique way we really react to what circumstance deals us.Denty dried up....I started this blog giri( I really don't know the technical details of it all still, how no one screams COPYright when you copy and paste from somewhere else; thought RSS was Rashtriya Self Server and wondered how the hell Google gets money out of it if there arent no ads?!)

I started off when I was wasting time in the US...searching for obships, waiting for interview calls, accumulating rejects - my grotesque ego trying to seal off puncture after painful puncture.I had a rethought of whether I really wanted to do this.And I felt that if I try and escape not thinking about what I wanted to do I would never get to what I could be.
Juggie started his blog just then. And then I thought....if Jaggu can find time from his schedule and put finger to keyboard then I can do so too.I don't even remember what I started with.But I felt good.Just random thought, some introspection.I saw this as an action ...if you were to argue that actions speak more than words.

Actions are driven by thought.Period.

Dont trust me: here's some karma cola-
1)keep doing without expecting fruit says the Geeta.

2) Again we are taught that as we sow so shall we reap.

Aint there a contradiction, a counter intuitive logic here?Karo karo karo- kya karo- arre goli maro. Aur galat karo to maro, sahi karo to hero?


Everything we do in life is for an incentive.

In its most primitive form this incentive might be satisfying the id.I do something because I FEEL GOOD about it.Thats Freudian logic....sex and violence.Basic stuff we crave for, live off.

Then we bent over our spines, put fist to chin...and began an activity that Rodin sculpted into form so beautifully-THINKING.Super ego/ prefrontal lobe ityadi concept bana.We realised that we have to satisfy our 'conscience' or 'ego ideal' to feel good. We aspire for something, or are afraid of something.I felt good that I was using empty time to think on things I would have never thought of otherwise. And if I dont think of them, I shall never feel the need to even consider their existence.So much in life not experienced.

I post as meliorix- to improve. To refine thought process.I think that is the ultimate motive behind life, job, career whatever you look at as an end result; your quail and manna, your Forrest Gumpian time on the bench where you chat with some nobody about the success of Bubba fishing company or your angst ridden hippie girl you loved so much or your run across the United States of Life while 'shit happened' all around.Your successes, failures are all about wht you were after those successes and failures.
I might not be successful...but can I give it rational thought to a situation and be richer from the experience?If I can...then hell....I am successful.I do not pretend to be fashionably opinionated.I leave that to more visible people.I am just my small personal self.And this is my own personal selfish lego . I shall build upon.

Mumbai tomorrow, Vellore later in the week.Might be some time before I can post again.
Fedex shall emulate Borg methinx.Repeat finals as last year. Five sets this time.Vamos Rafa. Go Fedex.