udderly bored...... some divine bovination from the Holy cow!!

If you breathe in, you inspire.......If you don't you.... expire

A yoga teacher had once instructed me to just observe my patterns of breathing while performing ADL, and doing so I had been surprised as to how we take for granted the inflow and outflow of air out of our lungs to occur like it were an irrefutable absolute truth- like it is as true as I am or you are. We exist because we breathe. Since our existence is not doubted, so also that air will move in and out, this cannot be impossible.

To me the COPDs were always the hukkahwallahs, who never went to the chest med OPD despite repeated 'warnings', came shamelessly again and again to the EMS bearing with the grudging and abuses of the EMS staff.....for they came there to regain the ability to breathe. Not all were smokers- a large proportion was of patients with byssinosis- not their fault, some post Kochs bronchiectasis- again not their fault, one with Kartagener's-who cried helplessly, I remember, at being told that his sperms were all dead,some Cushingoid with years of steroid abuse, one mama who said, "kabhi to marna hai, beedi peekay aish karte marenge, kya galat hai". I had never imagined or associated any emotion with them.....a few nebulisations, an antibiotic if needed...and they're off.....till they get an exacerbation again. What could you do anyways? "Fefda kharab ho gaya hai.......kuch nahi kar sakte......dum to lagna hi hai........sahan karo...." The worst I had faced myself till then, was a blocked nose......extremely frustrating. But nothing compared to this- from an article in the NYT.

Ondine's curse was a theoretical entity for me till I managed organophosphorus poisoning patients, whom we had to fight with all night to remind them that they had to breathe if they wanted to live. Neurology registrars laughed at me when I made a diagnosis of central hypoventilation in a patient with recovering Lance Adams. But when the patient died, undiagnosed, I was surprised how they could digest their inability to point to specific reasons.The very thought of needing to remember that one had to breathe, and knowing that if I sleep I shall not breathe, and hence die was too ghastly to imagine in real time. Shaila Vartak was embodiment such a curse, and getting her off the ventilator was an achievement we shall ever be really proud of.

"Myasthenia hai".....the neuro registrar seemed cock sure.I felt something was amiss. She was middle aged Konkanastha brahmin, middle class, coming with a history of fatigue, diplopia and recent onset of weakness. No thymoma, RNS not conclusive enough. Electively intubated and steroid, Azoran and pyridostigmine upped to max levels.......no response. Should we do plasmapheresis? We decided to redo the EMG......and repeat EMG revealed that Shaila was suffering from a muscle dystrophy. So while leptospirosis patients with ARDS waited for ventilator vacancy, we fought with Shaila, fiddling with SIMV, pressure support, low tidal volumes, postural variations, 2 ventilator associated pneumonias, progesterone, acetazolamide and analeptics, countless trials of weaning and sheer desperation. Shaila could walk, but she could not breathe. She could even AMBU herself if someone was busy with some other patient.I never talked to her as she was on trach for a loooong time. But finally when she was weaned off onto a nocturnal BiPAP support...after 2 long months in the ICU, we felt jubiliant that we had achieved the near impossible.

" Jor jor se saans leti hai isliye haat paanv tedha hota hai aur fit aata hai".........me,explaining carpopedal spasm to a histrionic teenager's relatives in the EMS!!!!!!

And I am learning Spanish......

How difficult it seems then to think of a thought, to form a sentence in English, to translate each word into Spanish based on a presumedly instantaneously accessible vocabulary databank, to check for grammatical correctness and language specific plausibility,to string them together in right order, and to vocalize, all this while maintaining collective stream of thought in a conversation.!!!!!!!

Medical shorthand

Some more stuff ..I believe from the BMJ.....continuing from an old post - medical short forms.

Buridan ka gadha

The ass: placed equidistant between two equivalent piles of hay, the ass could not make up his mind as to which to choose to go towards first and feast on, and thus starved himself to death. Had there been just one pile, he would have lived.Don't blame him. He was just being perfectly rational. There was nothing to choose between the two piles in terms of size, quality of hay or the distance they were from him to the smallest measure.But the result was that our rational ass could not make up his mind as mounting hunger kept clouding his ability to do so, and finally died of starvation.

Buridan, had he been there: Above all, it was irrational to starve himself to death. Thus although it would be irrational to choose which pile to feast on based on just one turn of pitch and toss, the ends justified the means in this case.So Buridan tossed a coin, and based his decision on the result of the toss. (Let us say it was a pile of bread, for Buridan is no ass.)

How do we choose which path to take when we know nothing of where either leads us to? Simple. Na?