Saturday, September 6, 2014

Pratikriya

Everyone is the sum total of his reactions to prior experience. As your experiences expand and vary,, you become a different person, your perspective on things evolves.. Every reaction thence is a learned conditioned one; every significant experience alters your ability to reflect/react and shape your next esperience. . This is a perennial and iterative process,  until perhaps dementia sets in. ( प्रतिक्रिया ही जीवन है और जीवन ही प्रतिक्रिया - वोह प्रतिक्रिया है जिसने चम्पू को दीन , गोकुल को धूर्त , और बंशी को विद्रोही बना दिया )
So it would seem foolish,  to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than becoming neurotic idiots who serve our neuroticism with to do lists, and a skewed frozen perspective which defeats the freshness of perspective.(दास्वीदानिया movie देखी ?)
Goals hence are meaningless. They make you arrogant when you achieve them, or restless when you stray. They give a linearity to a frame of learning which ought to me more circumferential or spiralling. They stunt life into meaningless non-memorable routines.Life actually happens to us in between getting from point A to point B. We laugh, cry, tense up, let go, sigh, exult and go through various other consuetudines of existence. In the interim we build various comfort zones to ward off solitude- family, love, career, hobbies. We mistake these to be life, yet when the gray cells age and company and productivity abandon us to solituide, we fear it instead of accepting it as the way you entered this world. All alone, naked and unendowed of anything but the ability to observe, react and evolve. 

Monday, September 1, 2014

Review of systems

Gen: hot and cold. Like ants in my brain. I am chill.lets see I lost weight when I was on a diet. Then I
         ate and regained. What's the difference between malaise and fatigue? 
HEENT: stop the nose, it runs. Away. I hear a symphony, not ringing in my ears. Does an itch in my ears count? I hid a babycorn in my nose when I was 3 and it just came out. Bad breath. Well, I fart the wrong way, will my mouth not be sore?
Eyes- when the joints creak, and vision fades,and calcium deposits in the arteries, a fine arc forms around the eye, want to see?
Cardiovascular: chest pain?- huh sometimes- fit me in your diagnostic model; palpitations- you mean heartthrobbin? ; yes, always with 3 pillows under my head; nah woke up to pee, not to breathe; If I don't breathe I expire, ain't I? If I do, I inspire?
Respiratory- Smoker's cough- always do, more of a hack I call it , sailor; blood - why would I have any blood in it; 2 blocks? I stay in the countryside; Nah , my cat wheezes......yeah shit she does....asthmatic feline
Gastrointestinal- Whaddya say? Noshia? Where are you from? No, I mean originally....you ain't born here were you? WTF is reflux? Heartburn? no, I get a sour taste sometimes. Lots of gas!!! Like I need to fart or belch. I like to have a 8 inch turd every 2 days or so. Not black, I make green shit. I wipe really carefully.No blood. Pooptube- nope, don't want one. Why don't you get one instead. Yellow eyes? Won't I look like a zombie?
Genitourinary- Quite a lot. I take an hour sometimes.No I don't have accidents, but wear them depends just in case. Burns in the tip. I shoot small and slow.I am pissing razor blades outta my pecker.Yeah, wake up 3-4 times to pee.
Musculoskeletal- Yeah my L4 and L5 is shot. Knees hurt when I run.Yes I have some disc problem. Spondolysis something. Yeah I got plates and screws in my back
Endocrine- Hot flashes, no I don't have them since I manopaused.I get hot and cold all the time. I eat like a pig. Don't drink as much I think. I am always getting dehydrated.
Integumentary- Have some sun spots. No lumps or bumps. No no...
Neurologic- I get migraines. I get numb, like my feet are asleep. No they feel numb. Isn't it the same- tingling or numbness? Yeah, I forget. No, I don't forget , I am pretty sharp.
Psychiatric- You think I am mad? Yes, I get anxious when I am taking a test.NO I am pretty upbeat.

Now why are you asking me all these questions? I just came with a urine infection.
You mean you want to cover your ass?
You mean you will miss things? I better get another doctor
I think you are very thorough. 
I think you ask too many questions. 
Why does everyone ask so many questions? I am tired. Let me sleep will you.
What? 
Everything hurts!! EVERYTHING hurts... period...
Jiyara ghabravat hai....phadphadavat hai, udat hai, magaj ma jhunjhunaut hot hai
Kaleja ma meetha dard hota hai
Kachu samajh nahi avat babu....bada ajeeb sa lagta hai....tum daktar hai na, pata lagav ke kahe hot hai


India trip 2025

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